A closer look at the much-hyped fellatio café.
Have you ever seen something that you truly, desperately wanted to be true—even though you suspected, deep down, that it might just be a publicity stunt?
Chock it up to my love of science-fiction books and movies. After all, we already have a monolithic corporation targeting people with facial recognition software, drones that will soon be delivering pizzas—so the idea of a café that not only features fellatio with java but is considering replacing human oral sex service with robots sounds just too wonderfully futuristic to be true.
According to Swiss news site The Local, Facegirl.ch [NSFW], a European escort service was planning on opening a rather specialized café in Geneva by the end of 2016.
Male customers supposedly would have been able to have some coffee and, in another science-fiction touch, use an iPad app to select a sex worker to give fellatio.
And while we all might think that a soy milk latte, extra foam, with chocolate is already pricy, The Local points out that this café’s oral special would be the most expensive in Geneva: a whopping €55.
A sexbot solution?
Alas, the Swiss authorities have poured a large quantity of ice water over the concept. While sex work is legal in Switzerland, oral sex and coffee may not be. As Geneva’s department of security and economy, put it: “paid-for sexual services are banned in public establishments under the law on catering and the sale of drinks.”
Not to be deterred, though, Bradley Charvet of Facegirl.ch has come out with a novel solution: robots.
Supposedly, he has contacted “an American firm” to install a half dozen realistic female androids to do what the Swiss authorities have said that real women can’t do—in other words give oral sex with coffee.
With price tags as high as $3,000 per robot, it will take a lot of drinks, and a lot of oral sex, even with €55 per “service,” to make up the expense.
If the unnamed firm is actually producing humanoid sexbots capable of delivering oral pleasure, it’s surpassed the development of the sex robots being made that we know about. Love doll manufacturers like Abyss Creations, Z-onedoll, and Doll Sweet are creating robotic heads that will attach to their silicone sex dolls’ bodies. None have mentioned their prototypes giving hands-free blow jobs. But with interactive sex toys like Vstroker and The Autoblow 2 on the market, the technology could surely one day be incorporated into robotic heads.
Taking this into consideration, it’s easy to see all this as nothing but a clever marketing tool for Facegirl.ch. It has, after all, given them a lot of publicity—without any serious planning or backing behind it. But it still would fit in so well with the sci-fi future we all seem to be inhabiting right now.
We can dream, though, of fellatio cafés, of ordering escorts via iPad apps—and, most of all, sexy robots and good, strong coffee.
Image source: Francisco L. Franco